I woke up this morning at 4am. I put the coffee on, took a shower, and did a few stretching exercises before I settled down into my recliner with my laptop, searched around on this forum, and worked a bit on my book (working on a first novel). By seven, I was off to the dojo. I worked out for two hours, focusing on the execution of my katas. Back home, I took a shower (again), searched around on the forum (again), and caught up on some recorded tv programs.
Just after eleven, I decided to do my BrainEv session. I stretched out in bed, slipped on my head phones; pressed the play button. In Lucid Echoes, a very faint bell sounds just before the louder bell. That almost inaudible tone is my cue to relax and let myself go. Just a few minutes into the session, I noticed a tightness in my stomach region. The sensation was almost uncomfortable, and after a while, it was making me lightheaded. Instead of resisting the feeling, I relaxed into it, and the tightness began to lessen, spreading out into my upper torso and chest cavity as a buzzing tingle. Every time I exhaled, I could feel my heart's pulse in my solar plexus, and it became so pronounced, the pulse would vibrate throughout my whole body. None of these sensations were distracting. Odd, but I could feel myself sinking into the session. I focused on my breathing and just listened to the audio.
At some point, not sure when, I realized I was in empty white space. It was the whiteness that roused my attention. All around me was a soft white glow, the pervasive light inside the whiteness making it seem alive. And that's when I felt a presence. I seemed to be able to see all around me, and the presence was the light itself, inside the whiteness. It seemed to be listening to me, and I couldn't decide in what direction to focus my attention. That's when I "remembered" I was doing a BrainEv session, so I relaxed my attention into a floating stillness, and doing so sparked a memory. I recalled my time in California when I was twenty, and me and my friend experimenting with his biofeedback machine. I was just learning to feel out my brainwave states. Memories of that time came back to me, and how my friend and I thought we were going to discover the workings of the universe. We were convinced that we could "figure out" reality. At that moment, what I recalled seemed to agitate the glow inside the whiteness, and it responded, not in a voice exactly, but directly into my thoughts as thought.
I can remember in exact detail, word for word, the entire communication: "Life, or pragmatically speaking, reality as experienced by any given individual, is simply and exclusively a reflection of inner content. What lies in the mindset as belief derived from emotional conviction, based on personal interpretation (however ignorant) of memories that served to construct the self image, that develop into an interconnected grouping of value elements from which "identity" gets its "feel", becomes the overall experience of reality itself. What you "feel" about who and what you are in relation to existence--it is that "feeling", the overall combined effect of every value element involved, that IS reality. There is no separation between the self and the reality that the self experiences. They are one in the same."
A lot of words, but I remember every one like it's been recorded into my brain. Shortly after the last "thought-word", I opened my eyes. The session had been over for twenty minutes.
I've never had an experience like this before in all my years of meditation, or in listening to entrainment. I have had dreams where there have been "recordings", a dialogue being in a certain place in a dream, like a room, and every time I go into that room the dialogue is played word for word. But this was a bit different. Like in those dreams, I can even hear the precise inflection and "tone" of each thought, and see how the thought looks as a word. But the way this all happened is very odd.
Still don't know what to make of it.
Topic: A Most Unusual Session (Read 169 times)
